Monday, April 18, 2011

The wind's feeling real these days.

A few weeks ago, a friend brought to my attention a post by a blogger I don't read; boy did it eerily ring with the echoes of my own recent thoughts:
Every time I sit down to write, I am overcome with disappointment with what this blog has become. It used to be a place that I loved, that I was proud of. Not so much, anymore. I feel completely lost in this sea of New Blogging. I am not a brand, I do not have a "story" to sell. It's just me, writing words, telling you stories about my life, about the family that I love. And I wonder if it's worth writing anymore because of how much things have changed. I doubt myself. I doubt my place here. I doubt the value of the words that I type here and publish for the world to read.
I understand completely, and whereas this blogger decided to try to reinvigorate her blogging again, I cannot do the same. A few years into Tried to Live Forever's inception, I tried getting into the swing of New Blogging - not advertising (never!) - but  due to a certain opportunity. I just couldn't hack it. And as my audience grew, my censorship did as well. A great many things have happened this past year and I've chosen not to share them because I want to keep them to myself and those involved. And sometimes I'd want to write about them and would draw back because I would begin to guess the popularity (or unpopularity) of the post, and that, my friends, wasn't the point of this place when I started it.

The point? I used this space to have a place for casual writing, but writing to keep me writing somewhere. I wasn't doing it in my job, and after four years studying and writing journalism, I needed to keep the pace. However, last year's NaNoWriMo finally proved to myself that I can write more seriously if I put my mind to it. And after having written more seriously, and now in the stages of editing, my writing quota is going pretty well without blogging too often.

All this said, I'm not giving up on my "internet life." I'll continue posting the briefer updates as I always have on my tumblr and my twitter. Perhaps one day I'll open up a long-form blog again; but for now I don't have the time or drive to keep one up. And so, this will be my last post here.

I do have to thank you all for reading. Sincerely. It started as a place just for my own benefit, but ultimately it was you who I thought of when I wrote. And I found some amazing blogs (which I continue to read!) and even friends through this little spot on the internet. Thank you for reading, and thanks for being wonderful and mostly, positive. You're the best!