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Jesse at pre-show dinner

Jesse and I kicked off the weekend right: with a magic show on Broadway! All I knew about Nothing to Hide before seeing it was that our friend Rick recommended it, it's directed by Neil Patrick Harris, and it had something to do with magic. The two magicians are highly entertaining and I did not stop laughing the entire time - well, except for when I was staring mouth agape at what I had just seen. Jesse and I spent the entire ride home trying to figure out what we really had just seen.

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Culturally, 2014 has been a pretty great year so far. I can't ever take this city I live in for granted. Last weekend I went to The Frick, I've seen a live show, and then yesterday my friend Adam and I went to the Museum of Modern Art. There were a few pieces I was particularly engaged in. Also, Dali's "The Persistence of Memory" is a lot smaller than I imagined.

You can see Adam taking this picture of me taking in some modern art.

My grandmother, probably the person who talked to me about art more than anybody else, had a print of Andrew Wyeth's "Christina's World" in her house when I was growing up. My parents, knowing me so well, made a gift of the print when she passed away and it's on display in my bedroom. I've always been fascinated with it, and can still get lost within it. I've also always noticed hands more than anything else when it comes to meeting people, watching movies, etc. and that's probably another reason I am entranced by the painting.

Hope II, Gustav Klimt

There was also a Magritte exhibition, which was far too crowded, but we got in free so I have nothing to complain about. It's just hard to take in paintings when it's hot, people are shoving past, and you can't even see an entire painting. However, there were a few I had the pleasure of taking in 'live,' as it were.

La Reproduction Interdite, Magritte

The Lovers, Magritte

A really great time with Adam. Hopefully I can continue this streak of quintessential New York fun. A renaissance, in the words of Dan Rydell.

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Last night we had friends over to watch the Patriots dominate the Colts. There was even a Colts fan in our midst, which usually seems to bode well during the playoffs - we've shared past games with fans of the opposite team, mostly to their chagrin by the end of the game. Next week Jesse and I will be visiting family in Panama, so we're currently counting on my mom to figure out how to watch the Patriots playoff game from thousands of miles away.

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Today I met up with my friend Amy for brunch, thinking we would see the film Philomena since we've seen nearly everything the theaters have to offer. However, after a hearty meal, we arrived at the theater to find that our phone app was wrong and there wasn't actually a showing at the time we thought. Our only other option was Anchorman 2. We sighed in resignation, and also that we hadn't had a drink or two at brunch. But in we went.

The movie was not up to par of the first, though it tried very, very hard. Very. The film was continuously disrupted for us by somebody in the back who kept clapping at odd times through the movie and mumbling. It was annoying, to say the least. It became more creepy, however, when the clapper came to the front of the audience, right in front of me and Amy, and stood for some time about 10 minutes before the movie was going to end. He just stood there. I couldn't see much of him, but I could see a couple of bags in his hands, a bald, shiny head that was reflecting the limited low light, and that he was fidgeting. I didn't like it. I didn't understand why he was standing there, why he was fidgeting, and I immediately made a mental note of the easiest escape route towards that red exit sign, figuring I'd jump the barricade and grab Amy if things got weirder. Because, in this world we are in today, I didn't know if he was going to pull out a gun. I'm not kidding. He stood there, and then slowly started waving at everybody in the seats while Will Ferrell was making fart noises or something else - I was definitely not paying attention at that point. I wasn't really breathing, either, because what the fuck was this guy doing??? When he reached for his belt I froze and then he adjusted his belt and shuffled very slowly towards the exit. I finally took a breath - somebody with mental problems perhaps, but thankfully not a psychopath. I just read too much news, maybe. But if there's one thing I've learned in New York, it's to always be aware.

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Now I'm back watching football with Jesse, hoping the Chargers can hand it to the Broncos again. It's not looking good in the 2nd quarter. Tonight's the Golden Globes, and I'll be finishing up my best films of 2013 list to post tomorrow!

My Top Albums of 2013.

I'm into the second year of my Rdio subscription, and I still love it. I can so easily figure out what albums I enjoy and which ones I don't. And I listened on repeat to the albums I loved. I can't even arrange the list below in ascending/descending order or crown an overall winner, though I will say that the first three listed below don't have a skippable track, I love them in total. Seriously, every single track of those top three, I love. They are all winners.

What were your favorites of the year? There seemed to be a few bands I "missed" - I tried listening to The Wonder Years after hearing raves, but it never took to my mildly suppressed pop punk soul. I've also been meaning to listen to The 1975, but have yet to get to it!

Without further ado...


Janelle Monae / The Electric Lady

She's throwback and she's futuristic and she blends all sorts of styles and I listen to this album with glee because she's surprising at nearly every turn. I cannot get enough, and when her songs start when I have my collection playing on 'random' I sit up straighter, and I usually start dancing in my office chair. "Primetime" is one of the best tracks of the entire year.

Favorite Tracks: Primetime, We Were Rock & Roll, Dance Apocalyptic

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Haim / Days Are Gone

Another band that blends styles, and I am entranced. It's like the most popular '70s, '80s, and '90s sounds mixed together with a powerhouse trio of sisters into MAGIC. Magic, I say.

Favorite Tracks: The Wire, My Song 5, Falling

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Lorde / Pure Heroine

Damn, girl. I listen to this and I remember being a teenager. It so accurately captures the relatively uneventful suburban life, the imagination, the observations of teenage life. I'm somewhat in love with Lorde.

Favorite Tracks: White Teeth Teens, Buzzcut Season, 400 Lux

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Tegan & Sara / Heartthrob

Admittedly, I was wary of the duo after they captured my heart completely with The Con, and left me a little cold with Sainthood. But I do love this album; I came to love this album (except for one song) and that single "Closer" is a killer.

Favorite Tracks: I Couldn't Be Your Friend, Drove Me Wild, Shock To Your System

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Kanye West / Yeezus

I cannot deny how much I listened to this album when it was released. And I cannot deny how much I love it. No matter how much I'd like to, I cannot deny Yeezus.

Favorite Tracks: Black Skinhead, I Am a God Feat. God, New Slaves

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The Julie Ruin / Run Fast

My inner riot grrl of my high school years was fully satisfied with a rad Kathleen Hanna-fronted album. Once I even found myself singing into my brush in the mirror in my room by myself to this album. It was hard not to hark back. Cookie cookie ya cookie YA YA!

Favorite Tracks: Girls Like Us, Cookie Road, Just My Kind

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A Great Big Pile of Leaves / You're Always on My Mind

Their sophomore album does not disappoint, and their live show was great to start with and in a surprising twist JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER. Have you NOT seen them live yet? You should check their tour dates pronto, trust.

Favorite Tracks: Pet Mouse, Snack Attack

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Paramore / Paramore

I think this album had the power to be perfect - but I appreciate the ambition on full display with the 17 tracks. The album sways from one edge to another to another to another without much cohesion sound-wise, but goddamn if I don't love it. There are about four or five songs I would cut, but this album also contains my absolute favorite song of the year, "Still Into You." I will admit that that song makes me wish No Doubt's last album was better - the subject matter and jump-up-and-down-ness (real word?) of that song is so up Gwen's alley.

Favorite Tracks: Still Into You, (One of Those) Crazy Girls [sidenote: this song is basically "Bathwater," I love it], Last Hope

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Savages / Silence Yourself

RAWR! My 'raging' album of the year, played always on full blast. (Except when I'm driving in San Francisco with Jesse and he vetos it).

Favorite Tracks: I Am Here, Husbands

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CHVRCHES / The Bones of What You Believe

Dance, dance, and joy.

Favorite Tracks: We Sink, Recover

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Honorable Mentions:
M.I.A. / Matangi
The National / Trouble Will Find Me
Jimmy Eat World / Damage
Justin Timberlake / The 20/20 Experience Part 1

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Also, I have yet to listen to the new Beyonce. Sorry, but she's not available on Rdio. The internet tells me it's rad, though.

Your turn.


PS Here's some of my past top albums: 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2012

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Monet's "Snow Scene at Argenteuil"

On Friday I woke up grumpy. I could see the snow stacked up on the windowsills, I could hear the whistle of the cutting wind, and I could feel the cold chilling the apartment. The alert on my phone said: -10 degree wind chills. I could hear it! I could hear the cold.

I grumbled as I put on layer upon layer of clothes getting ready for work. My mood went into certain distress when I could not find the winter fleece socks for my weatherproof boots. After twenty minutes, I went with my weatherproof sneakers instead.

Then I stood on the subway platform for an hour and a half, saw one packed train come and leave the station without a single person getting on or off, felt my feet go numb, and decided to call it a day on that endeavor. At street level I scurried into the neighborhood grocery store and made sure to grab enough food for Jesse and I if we were to be esconced for the entire weekend because of the blizzard.

Working from home in a comfortable outfit, under the blankets on the couch, was dream-like. How perfect! I could get everything done right there, and the wind sounds faded into something more like music as I knew I wouldn't have to face them that day again. Serenity.

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I was not to stay indoors all weekend, thankfully.

On Saturday, an event I was looking forward to at the Frick: the Dutch Masters exhibition. I was in awe of the Vermeers and the Rembrandts; there were many paintings I had never seen in person that I had long ago learned about in art history. But perhaps I’m most enamored of paintings with fictional histories - I do love fiction and I read The Girl With a Pearl Earring over a decade ago, and just finished The Goldfinch. But these fictional accounts also were words upon words of appreciation for these paintings, so when I stood in front of them, it seemed like only then did I understand fully and completely their power and those words. There are swaths of pages near the end in The Goldfinch that are in tribute to the titular painting, and to the enduring legacy of art, to the communication inherent in a centuries-old painting. I was a bit breathless in the throng as I stared at the little bird; maybe my eyes welled up a bit.

I think my love for Donna Tartt's novel The Goldfinch is swelling in retrospect. I gave it 4.5 stars but now I can't imagine what I docked it for. I think now it's a 5-star book... maybe it's one of my favorite books? It's certainly one that stays on the mind, and after seeing the painting, with the atmosphere Tartt so wondrously puts to page in mind, I'm already looking forward to rereading it one day.

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Afterwards, my museum companion Erica and I went to dinner, both carrying prints of Carel Fabritius' "The Goldfinch" and discussing our other favorite piece in the permanent collection, Jean-Antoine Houdon's sculpture "The Dead Thrush." I don't like birds much in real life, but am apparently attracted to them in art. I retreated home to an empty apartment (except for the cats, of course) and in my fervor of needing more ART decided to watch two long-time must-see Criterion edition films, The Double Life of Veronique and Paris, Texas. Definitely good, definitely ART -- my need to devour such satisfied.

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On Sunday I met Amy for brunch in Williamsburg and we lamented how we'd each only been to Paris once but loved it so much and as we looked around the cafe (it has a French name) we tried imagining we were actually in Paris. But -- not even close. One day, again!

I returned home for football playoff games with Jesse. It's always fun to watch games with him, even with the Patriots aren't playing. At one point we were talking about the best films of the year and I was having trouble picking my favorite (I've been mulling it for far too long) and then he said that he still hadn't seen one of my finalists and maybe we should watch it. I never say no when Jesse wants to watch a movie! (I, obviously, am always ready to watch a movie.) So we popped it in and it solidified: this was definitely my favorite movie of 2013. More on that when I divulge my list this week...

My Year in Books: 2013.

Ever since I challenged myself in 2009 to read 52 books in the year, I established some good reading habits to keep up the momentum. I've relaxed on the challenge aspect of reading, since I don't want to deter from reading longer books just because they may take more time.

This year I managed to read 33 books!

I managed to read more books that were released this year than perhaps ever before, so I'm a bit proud of that. Like always though, it's definitely a mix! And unfortunately, I still haven't finished S, so that will have to count towards 2014.

Here are the books I read this year in chronological order, the star rating I gave them on Goodreads, and those that are bold became all-time favorite books of mine.

01 Dark Places, Gillian Flynn ****

02 The Secret History, Donna Tartt *****

03 The Expendable Man, Dorothy B. Hughes ****

04 The Group, Mary McCarthy *****

05 Ariel, Sylvia Plath *****

06 By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept, Elizabeth Smart **

07 The Liars' Club, Mary Karr *****

08 Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn ***

09 Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell *****

10 On Beauty, Zadie Smith ***

11 The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald ***** (a re-read)

12 Where'd You Go, Bernadette, Maria Semple *****

13 Never Mind, Edward St. Aubyn ***

14 Bad News, Edward St. Aubyn *

15 Some Hope, Edward St. Aubyn ***

16 Mother's Milk, Edward St. Aubyn **

17 People Who Eat Darkness, Richard Lloyd Perry *****

18 The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller *****

19 Mysterious Skin, Scott Heim ****

20 Howards End, E.M. Forster *****

21 The Portrait of a Lady, Henry James *****

22 East Lynne, Mrs. Henry Wood **

23 Manhattan, When I Was Young, Mary Cantwell ****

24 This is How You Lose Her, Junot Diaz *****

25 The Night Gwen Stacy Died, Sarah Bruni ****

26 The Spectacular Now, Tim Tharp *

27 Life After Life, Kate Atkinson *****

28 Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See, Juliann Garey ***

29 Travels, Michael Crichton ****

30 The Lowland, Jhumpa Lahiri *****

31 The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt ****

32 The Postmortal, Drew Magary ***

33 The Silent Wife, A.S.A. Harrison ****

I'm currently in the middle of Sylvia Plath's journals, Doug Dorst and J.J. Abrams' S, and The Best American Magazine Writing 2013 - and I'll be posting my favorite articles from it soon. Hopefully I'll finish all these within January. As always, my family was great at Christmas and I got quite a few more books, including what I believe is the rest of Joan Didion's works I haven't read.

As a tribute to my year of reading, I'm going to the Frick tomorrow to see Carel Fabritius' painting, "The Goldfinch," which was the subject of Donna Tartt's book of the same name. I loved the book, it has four stars on Goodreads but it's really a 4.5 star book. I'm excited to see the painting live, and Vermeer's "Girl with a Pearl Earring" is also on display in the same exhibit - and I read that book years ago.

I'd highly recommend any of my favorites, five-star, or four-star novels. Especially Life After Life by Kate Atkinson - what an adventure! However, I also love tailoring book recommendations so if you'd like a personal one, let me know some of your favorite books and I'd be happy to suggest!

What were some of your favorite books you read this year?

Previously: 2009 | 2012

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Yesterday Jesse and I sat on the tarmac at O'Hare for two hours and occasionally stared out the window into the infinite whiteness of the snowstorm that delayed us. I wondered every now and then how exactly this plane might take flight with such low visibility but ultimately I disregarded any worry and turned back to my book.

In the past, The New Year was a concept that made me anxious. Here comes another year: what have I really accomplished? What am I going to do this year? But this new year's different; I am simply going to let go of measuring myself against... well, whatever arbitrary standard I would decide to affix (it always changed). Because calendar dates themselves are more or less arbitrary, age less so, but I'm happy - and isn't that the point everybody's striving for anyway? I'm working at letting go of pressures, because I'd rather plan and continue in this (happy) life at my own pace, with my loved ones, and without expectations that just lead to disappointment.

I do still think it's important to reflect, take stock, understand, and learn. But I'm doing that every day, and on New Year's Eve as I danced around with four other women who know exactly what it's like to be in the kind of marriage I'm in, as I watched that husband of mine do what he loves, I felt all the joys of being in the moment. I talked to my parents at (their) midnight, I texted with my brother and my future sister-in-law and best friends, and I kissed my husband as the clock struck.

There will always be upsetting things and I will make mistakes and I will disappoint others, but I'll still enjoy navigating this life with those around me. There's too much pain out there and I feel so little of it by comparison, that all I can do is be grateful. These thoughts were fueled partly by some fiction and non-fiction I've read recently, by the full outpouring of love felt in the presence of family last week, and just by the mountain of self-reflection that always appears on that end of year date.

Last night we landed an hour later than scheduled, but made it home smoothly and without incident. There really was nothing to fear rising up into the blinding whiteness; only home to look forward to.