I just rewatched two of my favorite movies: Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. I'd seen them both years ago, and loved them then, but last year I bought them both on dvd because of a strange feeling I needed to rewatch them, and I needed Jesse to watch them. Don't ask me why; I wouldn't know. After another viewing, they're even more amazing. I didn't know quite what to attribute this to, but I'm trying to sort it out in my brain. Perhaps this is why I turned to writing it out.
The first film revolves around two strangers who spend a few hours in Vienna together based on an immediate attraction. The second one is about them nine years later. Most of the films are just conversations between these two. I always liked this aspect - it seemed intimate. I had watched these movies in awe of the bond of these two characters. It felt real - but movie real; I never connected to it personally...
But now, it's different. This past year I experienced a paradigm shift in many aspects of my life, my thinking, my opinion of relationships, etc. I had changed, and so had my perspective on these films. They attempt to illustrate a simple, contemporary and real aspect on love at first sight, or more simply, just love.
Maybe what I'm trying to explain (and not doing so eloquently, my apologies) is that now I understand the films more completely. Back in 2000, I eagerly anticipated No Doubt's Return of Saturn, but was sorely disappointed by the album. However, two years later, after experiencing my first serious relationship, I listened again and related to it like no other; I'd easily call it one of my top five albums of all time. In the span of those two years, I'd been able to gain a new outlook on relationships in general, and could attest to the relationship-centric lyrics Gwen Stefani had confessionally written.
Film is obviously a different type of media, and one that (I don't think) should be taken on a personal level as much as music. I watch films mainly to escape into another world and its characters, not to relate. However, suddenly I relate to the characters of Celine and Jesse (coincidence, I know) and I can't help but think it's because, here I am, completely and totally in love in the truest sense of the word I've ever known.
And I think the reason I needed to see the films again is because their first interactions were somewhat reminiscent of when Jesse and I first started hanging out. I remember having these conversations with him that were probably about everything and nothing at all, but our connection was obvious and we fell into each other quite easily and quickly. I'm not saying that we are like the characters at all, but I can relate to whatever their connection can be defined as.
Okay, that's all I'll say about that. I know you're probably dozing off. I don't think I meant to share this much on the internets, but...I'll leave it unedited for posterity's sake.
[Sidenote: An update on Panama is on its way. I'm getting a new computer tonight (!!!) so, I'll be all savvy at home to update you properly...if you even care.]