Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Questions 38-42 (That Dude and His Band Edition)

Ah, the questions about Jesse! These were pretty hard to answer. I feel like I could go on and on and on, but I won't!

Were you hesitant to start dating (no less marry) a guy in a band that tours often? How do you deal with his frequent absence from home?

When I first started dating Jesse he was in town recording an album and would be off to Europe for tour within a month. I knew all this but I also knew it was worth a try, given how much I liked him. And there were definitely moments in the beginning that I hesitated diving into it, as he could have been like certain other touring guys out there who aren't particularly great or loyal when they're out of sight. My fears were swiftly squashed as we got to know each other, and I knew that we were on the same page before he left. Since the beginning, we've kept everything very much on the surface - there were no dating games.

Of course, dating and marrying somebody that is on tour is a challenge; but every relationship has challenges and him traveling is pretty routine at this point. I miss him a lot, of course, but I wouldn't change anything about how our relationship has evolved in the past three years. I've developed some pretty good communication skills having moved around all my life and keeping up a lot of long distance friendships and Jesse's the same way. It's almost a non-issue because touring is his job - and I'm obviously supportive of his career, as he would be if I was the one that traveled the world while he worked from an office. We miss each other a lot when he's gone though, that's for sure! And I get the added benefit of visiting him on the road, to cities and places I've never been and we get to explore them together.

Your second question I can answer along with the next one...

How does it feel to be married and have your beau on the road fairly often? How do you cope?

Well, the best thing about the whirlwind that was this year is that I am extremely busy; there's always something going on, some errand to run, some movie I must catch. And my friends are amazing in this city that never sleeps, so I never feel too lonely when he's gone.

Keeping myself busy is key, as well as keeping in touch with him while he's out there. Best thing ever: video chat! Seriously, forget texting, email, and the phone...we have the best conversations when we can see each other while we talk. We make time for each other and put in the effort, because, in case you hadn't noticed, you know, we like each other and we're in love. (Barf.)

That's all I've got: communication is most important, and be clear: it's not a medium in which you can play any guessing games. You've already got tons of white noise going on with the distance and when and how you communicate, it's not wise to waste each other's time dancing around subjects or not telling each other how you feel. And, of course, it's about that word we always hear - trust. Does that make sense? Hope so.

What is the hardest part of having a boyfriend/husband/"other" on tour all the time? How does it feel to be married to one of the members of Motion City Soundtrack? Did you fall in love with his amazing handstand on the moog?

The hardest part, to me, is missing out on something great that he's experiencing, or when I'm having a great time and he can't be right by my side. Like the holiday party - I had a blast, and I only wish Jesse had been there to share it! We have plenty of years and fun times together ahead of us, though.

It feels great to be married! And to a member of one of my favourite bands is cool I guess, but it's weird how I didn't really think about it that much when we started dating. The band stuff kind of all melted away when we began hanging out and getting deep in conversation and having tons of fun. We connected on a personal level that wasn't tied to the band; as much as people are skeptical about guys in bands, some dudes in bands are skeptical on the reason a girl is with him. I don't think Jesse would have proposed if he thought I was in it for free tickets to MCS shows!

His moogstand is quite amazing, but definitely not the reason I fell in love with him!

I have 2 questions! haha

(1) How did you & Jesse meet?

Yay! Easy! I've already written all that out here: PART I & PART II.
(2) Do you ever find it hard to date (and now be married to - congrats btw!) to a guy in a band? I just recently started dating a guy in a band and I'm worried about how it will work when he's on tour and I'm still in school! 

I think I answered this above; I hope it helps a little. Any long distance takes some time to find a rhythm in which you're both comfortable!

Yeah, man. What a jerk that Matt Taylor is! Once I was in the front row and am sure I looked absolutely ridiculous since my life was being completed and all, but that dude had the nerve to actually laugh at me!

And I just wanted to say it makes me REALLY happy that you were a fan of the band before meeting Jesse.

And a question: the other day I was mentioning to a fellow MCS fan how I follow Jesse's wifes's blog and she asked your name. I of course wanted to say Jessica but then I was like, could it really be Jesse and Jessica? And how had I not noticed? Were you called Jessie growing up? Is it ever strange?
Ha, great to find this one in my inbox! Yeah, I never hid it, I've always been a fan of the music and the shows. I just wasn't a personal fan of Jesse until much later!

I was not called Jessie growing up by anybody except a relative or two; I don't like the nickname! It's not really "strange" that our names are similar, it's actually just funny. Especially when we're with our parents who have always shortened our names to "Jess" and we both look up. It's been a couple of years but it still happens!

That's what I've got! A couple more question posts are in draft mode right now. And hopefully tonight I'll post my Top Ten Albums of 2009! Got any more questions?


  1. Haha, I never clicked with the Jesse/Jessica thing either. So funny!!!!

    That being said, I'm sure I'm one day going to end up married to a guy named Paul. (Just need to find him first, haha!)

  2. I think it's cuter that you have the same initials now.