Thursday, August 6, 2009


I know I've been talkin' a lots about the Gap, but that kind of happens when you get sent free stuff in two big boxes. I mean, there's not anything more exciting going on right now...okay, okay, except for me getting married THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

But for now, I shall announce a contest as I head out of my office, into the weekend that determines a certain foreverness in my own life -

Please write a haiku about jeans. We all have them. I just want a 5-7-5 poem about 'em. They don't have to be about Gap jeans. Also: I like funny stuff. If you can make me laugh with your poem, you get points. Most of you readers know what I find hilarious. And eloquence counts for a lot, too. So, please, be brilliant.

I have the ability to bestow FIVE PEOPLE with prizes in this particular contest. Four runner-ups will get a gift certificate for a free pair of Gap jeans! The grand prize winner will get a gift certificate for a free pair of Gap jeans PLUS a $50 Gap gift certificate!!

LE RULES FOR ENTRY: please leave your poem in the comments below, WITH your e-mail address. You can enter as many haikus as you want, but there will be five separate winners! This contest shall end next Monday night, August 10th, at 11:59pm EST. I'll peruse the entries, pick my five favourites, and contact winners on Tuesday, and hopefully send out the prizes by Wednesday. Because Thursday? I'm heading out on my HONEYMOON! YEAH!!!!

As a bonus, here is Erica talking about the Gap Always Skinny jeans -


  1. Hey Jess,

    Was procrastinating at work and ran across your challenge from your blog. Here are my entries:

    My jeans conceal two
    strong legs; sexy with grace and
    pose; beckoning you.

    Down for every thing,
    Ready for anything, scared
    of nothing, thanks jeans

    Textile strength tests the
    structural integrity
    of jeans; butts wanted

    Grandma flooded in
    denim trousers and still got
    a man! There’s still time!

    Congrats on getting married soon! Hope all is well. :-)

  2. This created a fun diversion for my day! Congrats by the way :)

    My jeans all have holes.
    Shopping for jeans is the worst.
    The holes are risque.

    Straight leg skinny jean,
    Attitude and confidence,
    Dark wash only, please.

  3. Oh skinny jeans, I
    curse the body that prevents
    me from wearing you.

    Sorrow is skinny
    jeans. How I long to be lean.
    Damn you, birthing hips!

    If only I weren't
    pear-shaped. I would wear the hell
    out of skinny jeans.

  4. ps: Congratulations! Have fun this weekend :)

  5. Worn. Fraying. Perfect.
    Lounging around in my jeans.
    Comfort at it's peak.

    Congrats! Hope your wedding is a blast and your marriage is amazing :)

  6. oh hey, look at me stalking your comments page :) sorry. I just realized that I didn't leave my email address with my haiku.

  7. I need some new jeans
    The old ones are for Sundays-
    For they are holy.

    Happy wedding weekend!

  8. Skinny, straight and boot.
    They make your booty look cute.
    See the boys salute!

    Jeans, they never lie.
    On your couch Indigo dye.
    On low, tumble dry.

  9. Carrie Lea's stick legs
    Are outfitted much better
    In brand new Gap jeans!

  10. Oopsies I forgot
    To include my email on
    My little haiku!

  11. haha i'm SO not a writer, and i'm pretty sure that the last time i wrote a haiku was in 9th but here it goes because it sounds like fun

    my jeans are so great,
    making my butt look so good.
    keep it up good jeans.

    ericas movie made,
    me want a pair that feel like
    leggings. love the stretch!

    i used to think that
    skinny jeans would help my thighs
    look skinny. FAILURE!

    jeans are like good books.
    always there for good comfort.
    and tell a story.

    my dogs ate my jeans.
    my favorite pair is now...
    in doggy bellys.

    hahahaha this seriously made me feel like i was 13- but was totally fun!

    can't wait to see you saturday! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

  12. HAAAHAHA i'm pretty sure at least one of those might not even be a haiku! it's been an 8 day work week lol bear with me!

  13. I just thought of another.

    Because I am short,
    All my jeans are much to long.
    Was I born to fit?

  14. Hi! Here are my haikus -

    Dear cute hipster boy,
    Why must you wear those blue jeans
    that are meant for girls?

    Dressing Room Mirror
    I ask you just one question
    Is my butt too big?

    I might write some more.



  15. just one pair i like
    i'll wear them every day
    i smell like beer sweat

    finding perfect jeans
    welcome to headache city
    public nudity

    denim on denim
    canadian tuxedo
    nineteen eighty five

    - matt. (

  16. Erica looks hot
    Gap jeans that equal leggings?
    That's me you just got

  17. Apologies for yet another butt reference and to those who already haiku-ed about Sir Mix-a-Lot's favorite area, but this is what I came up with before I read the rest...

    No matter the style
    All that I ask of you is
    Will my butt look good?

    Congratulation on the wedding!

  18. Why do jeans squeeze me
    In just all the wrong places,
    I hate muffin top!

  19. Okay, so this is lame, but it made me laugh. Enjoy. xo

    Oh, Chris Pine. Damn fine.
    Your form fitting black jeans. NICE.
    Chris Pine, so damn fine.

    Hope you're having a great day! :) And Congrats on the wedding!

  20. zmama09@yahoo.comAugust 9, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    Yay! Congrats on the wedding! You two look cute!!

    Here are my haikus! Thanks for the chance!

    Jeans take me everywhere. From
    Jungle trekking to city side walks to
    long distance jetting. thanks jeans!

    Low rise- cute and sexy
    Til my tot says 'Are those undies?!'
    when I bend. Midrise now!

    Jeans. Everyday all the time.
    Highschool. College. Weekends. 24-7.
    Even into mommyhood. American Uniform!

    Skinny, tight, dark, lowrise, sexy
    Before. Now: midrise, loose shirt, flats,comfy
    with a diaper bag. Mommyhood.

  21. Monday is zapping my will to live so I'm submitting 2 more haikus:

    Jeans, once too tight, pulled
    off without unbuttoning.
    Victory is mine!

    His non-existent
    bum struggles to fill out those
    bootleg rocker jeans.

  22. Here's one more from the motherhood!!

    Spit, applesauce pee and chocolate.
    All of them adorn my favorite jeans
    I really need new ones

  23. Oh, I almost forgot to enter.. hmm... how about...

    Jessica is wed
    Don't forget I got wed, too
    Where is my present?

  24. Hmmm maybe that's not enough about jeans... how about...

    Losing twenty pounds
    I'm still rocking my Gap jeans
    Just now down a size

    Honeymoon, uh oh
    Gap jeans getting tighter, so
    Top snap now undone

  25. i like the red dress
    but i like the blue jeans more
    better with the sneaks

    last minute entry
    no time to plot poetry
    gap jeans, i want you

    ;) congrats again - stunning pictures!