Wednesday, September 22, 2010

And the sky was made of amethyst.

Thanks to That Ain't Kosher, I had to make a list of seven things - anything. Her own list was quite off-the-wall interesting, and I'll be honest: she's much more creative than I am in discovering what seven things she should cover. However, most of the thoughts on my list are thought about on a daily basis. I present...

Seven Things I Wish I Could Do

01 Dye my hair lavender.

In college, I tried many times to dye my hair purple. It never took because I refused to bleach my hair. And my hair is near-black. With my current position in the corporate world, I don't think having lavender hair would help my professionally, and I'd like to be taken seriously. Also? I highly doubt I could even pull off lighter hair, at all. But I truly lust after a lavender similar to Kelly Osbourne's former shades:

02 Cook intuitively.

I can follow a recipe - I'm good at directions. But understanding food, cooking, baking, measurements, and taste is just out of my scope. I wish I could "whip up dinner" without it being a lengthy process of should I do this or that? Can I do without this one ingredient I don't have? Of course, I overanalyze nearly everything, and meals I cook are not safe!

03 Whistle.

Seriously, I can't whistle. In elementary school (prime whistle-learnin' times) we were banned from doing so, and nobody ever taught me. I look a fool if I even try.

04 Wear socks and heels.

I used to harbor hate for this look secretly because I can't ever do it. Personally I think it's pretty impossible to look the "cute" way it's supposed to unless you have skinny legs. I have shapely legs, and socks with heels would cut me off in severely unflattering ways.

05 Not feel guilty if I ever dressed badly for a couple of weeks and taped myself solely to convince What Not to Wear producers that I deserve a $5,000 shopping spree.

I've given this a lot of thought. But I know there are more deserving people of such sprees than me. I'd feel guilty every time I donned a piece from what would ultimately be called the "Shameful Selfish Shopping Spree Full of Deceit."

06 Related: wear the stylish ensembles created by J.Crew's stylists for their catalogs and not look like a crazy person.

I know I would look ridiculous. But also? Affordability is an issue here.

Sequined shorts + bowtie thing? Couldn't do it right.

So many layers on me would look bulky, not effortless.

These textures look lovely here, but probably monster-like on me. (See also #4)

Okay, OKAY, some of them are actually NOT styled that well, but you get my point.

07 A month-long vacation once a year for me to spend living somewhere around the globe.

Going somewhere for one week or one weekend can sometimes be exhausting for all the planning and activities packed into it. I'd like leisurely vacations in foreign places to explore at my will and take in my surroundings - with my husband, of course! Basically, I want my summer vacations back. (You know, before summer jobs were a requirement.) Places I'd stay? South of France, Buenos Aires, Vienna, George Clooney's Italian Villa (I'm sure I could make that happen), Japan, Spain, etc., etc., etc.!

Jesse and I would simply call up George for the keys.


  1. Jessica. I think it's hysterical how you view yourself. You could wear any of those outfits and look better than any of those girls. Including the socks with heels. Just do it. Life is too short not to do any of these things on your list..the cooking thing will come naturally once you start cooking on a regular basis. :)

  2. Jaime - Ha! Thanks, lady for the kind words and slap in the face in the name of sartorial confidence. That's why I keep you around fashionista :) Hangs, PRONTO! xoxo

  3. I'll call up my friend George and get you hooked up on Lake Como. Also - you can totes pull off those J Crew looks!

  4. Agreed with Jamie! You could definitely pull off those J.Crew looks better tan those models! You would also look rad with purple hair and socks with heels! :)

  5. Love this list! I'm pretty sure you could pull off pretty much all of those looks! :)

  6. Great list!

    I can't whistle either.

  7. I stare and stare at my JCrew catalogs, and can never seem to look that cute and put together myself. So unfair!

  8. I totally agree with you on socks with heels. I think it's adorable but completely unmanageable for so many women (myself included.)

    A month-long holiday would be dreamy. My European friends think it's so bizarre that we North Americans get such shitty holiday time. The standard over there is 5 weeks of holiday time. 5 weeks! Can you imagine?!

  9. I would LOVE to live in a place for a month in a location overseas. I mean, that would just be SO amazing to take in the full culture, food and sights without rushing.

  10. can i make one of my wishes going to hang out with you for a week out of your month on your super vacations? :)

  11. I can't whistle either. My snapping is also pretty bad.

  12. you could definitely rock those j crew looks. anytime i'm wearing something a little crazy i think 'people will stare, make it worth their while' works every time!

  13. i would like to address each number separately...

    1 - just say no to lavender hair.. unless you want to bleach a little portion of your hair and dye it lavender to get it out of your system. and holy crap kelly is skiiiiiiinny now.

    2 - this is my specialty, don't hate me. i'm queen of whipping something up and cooking based on my gut. i'm not sure it's something you can just learn though... it's kinda like you have a knack for it or not.

    3 - this is also my specialty, don't hate me. i'm queen whistler, my office hates me for it though as i'm constantly doing it.

    4 - i'm not sure about this one...

    5 - when i was heavier i contemplated gaining 50 lbs to get on the biggest loser. haha. thankfully now i'd need to gain 100 lbs to be considered for the show :)

    6 - ummmmmmm you could SO do this. without a question.

    7 - take me with you.

  14. @kristen - sounds good. GIVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER ALREADY. i mean, jk.

    @liz - i still think there'd be ISSUES! haha but thanks :)

    @p - thanks, lady. i'm not so sure!

    @amber - it's the one thing i might be able to learn to do though?

    @mcgriddle pants - unfair is right! even in new york where anyone can dress a little crazy and not be the CRAZIEST, i would look like crap in some of those!

    @hillary - this is where my vacation jealousy stems from. all of europe is "off" during August and i only WISH i could have a house somewhere to runaway to. SIGH.

    @jessica - right? it's full experience!

    @jamie - YES!

    @ginny - i may try to figure out whistling at some point. ha.

    @sarah - hahaha nice mantra!

    @alexa - HAHA THIS COMMENT! you have specialties in many areas! :)