Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Oscars are over and I'm tired.

Yesterday I was thoroughly exhausted from the weekend and Sunday night's festivities! No joke, I was too tired to update. I had my annual Oscar Party in which I represent each Best Picture nominee with something edible, entreat my friends to play Oscar-related games for prizes, and generally have lots of fun. I can only imagine that my exhaustion was probably extremely similar to being a nominee myself.

I think this year's preparation took the longest! Nine Best Picture nominees! Here was my spread:

Amour = Champagne [you got two Parisians growing old, one of them slowly dying onscreen - not a lot of representitive food choices! I'm not going to lie though, I entertained the idea of making a dessert in the shape of the dead corpse in the first scene; I think I made the right decision going with champagne, huh?]

Argo = Canada Dry Water [to represent the Canadians of the film harboring the Americans, and, y'know, airline water I guess.]

Beasts of the Southern Wild = Clam Strips from the Bathtub [I searched for hushpuppies in the frozen food aisle without success; making the southern delicacy which is also the main character's name seemed to entail needing a Cornballer, so clam strips it was!]

Django Unchained = Calvin Candie's White Cake [with requisite Tarantino blood splatter! I loved that scene near the end so much, the dessert seemed so crucial to it -- "White cake?" "No, I don't go in for sweets..." - the beginning of a glorious scene.]

Les Miserables = Valjean's Fateful Loaf of Bread [yeah, that stealing bread scene never occurs on screen, but y'know, that's the amount of effort I will put into this movie.]

Life of Pi = Pi(e) [in the film, the character Piscine is named after the word for swimming pool in French, but as a child his peers always refer to him as 'Pissing,' so he tries to become 'Pi' like the mathematical constant. Also, sounds like a FOOD! I am not much of a chef so I went in for an easy lemon merengue pie recipe, and it was a hit. I also used orange sprinkles because, duh, tiger.]

Lincoln = Silhouette Brownie [this was the hardest one to come up with; I just started thinking of Lincoln's famous top hat and beard and decided to make it using brownies because, hey, I didn't have brownies on the menu yet and they are easy to make.]

Silver Linings Playbook = Dolores' Crabby Snacks [minus 'And Homemades' the character always says in conjunction. I found the recipe online - I'm not the only crazy person with their Oscar party - and while it smelled absolutely putrid combining Kraft Old English cheese spread ::gag gag gag:: and canned crab meat, after they came out of the broiler they smelled great and were delectable.]

Zero Dark Thirty = Reward Hummus for the Prisoners [you know, that scene where the guy they've been torturing for days is allowed to sit down with his interrogators and Jason Clarke's character is all, "Have some hummus and this other stuff"? Boom, easy.]

So, I prepared all of that most of the day Saturday and all day Sunday. Also, cats are really into the smell of pre-cooked crabby snacks. Like vultures, they were! Frito the cat had been circling me all day - I needed security detail to make sure the food on the countertop would be safe. Even during the party he eyed the spread from afar, hoping to glean a morsel when nobody was looking. He visibly grimaced as I took this photo (I like to believe) --


My guests arrived not as dressed up as myself (sorry I have no pictures of my black and purple chiffon floor-length attire), but that happens every year. They each recieved an Oscar Ballot and an Oscar Bingo card. High spirits all around as everyone filled out their ballots during the red carpet and we sliced and diced the fashion (more on that later).

I was pretty depressed last year when I found out Seth MacFarlane would be hosting the Oscars; I'm not a fan of his misogynistic humor and feared the worst. And he definitely delivered on the misogyny  but it was somewhat skimmed over during the party because of hostessing duties, judging duties for bingo, and general lack of interest on my part... I will say that MacFarlane has a great retro-sounding singing voice and I enjoyed the bits of dancing with Charlize, Channing, JGL and Harry Potter, but the in-betweens -- the supposed bits that made him the worst host according to Captain Kirk's future were dumb. I understand that the framing of the jokes was supposed to infer it was in bad taste, but y'know... I should have cared more, but when has anybody been like super positive about an Oscar host? Ever? What a thankless job, no wonder Robert Downey Jr declines the offers! (Also, Zan says everything better.) I smiled along placidly, because in the end, all I cared about were the actual awards!

You'll be happy to know (no, nobody really cares!) that I only got three of my guesses wrong on my ballot. I was most happy that the first award out the gate, Best Supporting Actor, went to Christoph Waltz over Tommy Lee Jones (which I had changed on my ballot from my Friday post prediction). Hurrah!

The three I got wrong? Animated Feature - I've seen zero! Original Screenplay - I guessed in my prediction post it might go to Tarantino, but I was hoping Boal would take it! And, happily, Best Director - I thought Spielberg would take it, but my personal favorite Ang Lee did. Not too shabby with my guesses, and I'm quite proud that I got so many of those random (to me) categories correct.

Of course, as the hostess, I don't play my own games. This year Erica took home both prizes for predictions and bingo! I got Oscar nominated movies that featured a nominee from this year:

Overall, I was really happy with this year's nominees! My personal favorites didn't win each category, but that's what votes are about. Not that I had a vote.


When I watch the red carpet, I do that fantasy thing where I imagine I'm a world-class actor and I am wearing one of those dresses. My favorite dresses are the ones that I would kill to wear (or try on, maybe once?). Here are my top three looks:

Jessica Chastain in Armani Prive - unfff. As soon as I saw her on the red carpet I know she was destined to be my best dressed. She was talking about how she loves movies and old Hollywood glamour, and when she tried on the dress she thought it was perfect for how she felt about film. Girl, we already share the same first name, let's be best friends and watch movies together when I get off work and you wrap up your Broadway show. The hair, the red lips - she looked beautiful and wins the evening in my book. (I'm sorry she didn't actually win the Oscar. I love Jennifer, and Imma let her finish, but...)

Naomi Watts in Armani Prive (clearly if I'm ever an international movie star with a red carpet booked, Armani Prive will be the first people I call...) - that neckline! Not something you normally see, and also very hard to pull off. In my head I was like, I would love to wear that, and then I was like, buuuuut my body's not Naomi Watts' body, which is making that thing look chic as hell. I would look like a robot. That's why she gets paid the big bucks...and I'm hanging out in an office.

Halle Berry in Versace - the woman has a body that can pull of anything, and I love the long sleeves and stripes and somewhat 80s throwback feel to it. She looked gorgeous!!

Honorable Mention: Jennifer Lawrence - because she can fall in it and still look beautiful. I think this was the princess dress I would have wanted to wear in younger years. Plus, her accessories and make-up were perfect - I loved the delicate backwards necklace.

I think the worst look was Melissa McCarthy's truly terrifying gray ensemble and tragic hair. I can't even post it here. She's dressed better in the past! And, sadly, Anne Hathaway's Prada was second worst. I love Anne and I think she's a great actress, but the 90s apron prom dress with a poorly chosen necklace was horrible. Her hair still looks adorable, though.

Also, her win solidified the fact that I have spoken on the phone with an Oscar winner! Here's my Anne Hathaway story: back in college one of my friends was in an a capella group that travelled to Vassar for a show. This was the year that Get Real was on television and I had been telling my a capella friend how much I loved it and Hathaway. Get a call late one night from friend who said she was partying at Vassar with Hathaway and I should tell her how much I enjoyed her acting. Which, I did. She was very sweet and appreciative! You know, just being a fangirl from the start! Congrats, Anne!

Oh, and I can't forget the men... LOOKING GOOD, BEARDS:

This post was very long -- TELL ME ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS! Seth? The dresses? Did you have a party or go to one? What'd you think about the winners?


  1. Thanks for linking to my feminist rage! I thought Margaret Lyons at Vulture, Spencer Kornhaber at The Atlantic, Amy Davidson at The New Yorker, and Dana Stevens at Slate said a lot of great things too.

    My conclusion: the Oscars should quite trying to be edgy. They aren't, and that's why we love them!

    1. Thanks for posting your feminist rage - I agree completely. I too think the Oscars should just stick to the good ol' stuff... the tributes to movies and songs and dance were pure entertainment. Or get Tina & Amy. Hey, I dont' remember many Oscar hosts or what they said at all, but I do remember being completely charmed by Hugh Jackman and his singing and dancing and how NICE he was. The Oscars are not SNL!

  2. I think Amy and Tina should host everything. Anytime, anywhere in the world something needs to be hosted, the job should be theirs.

    Seth was meh. He has such a smooth voice, but other than that, I wasn't impressed. I loved the dresses you chose, and disliked the same ones as well. I think Jennifer Aniston should also get an honorable mention for wearing a color for what may be the first time in her life.

    1. Lyndsey - I thought the same thing about Jennifer Aniston! I was like, wow, color! Not beige or black! At the same time, it was all wrinkled and didn't look like it fit very well. Maybe it was her loose regularly-styled hair that brought down the wow quotient, too? She should have had an updo or something!

  3. Absolutely. An updo would have been a much better fit with the dress and made it look more impressive even with the wrinkles. Maybe she was afraid we wouldn't know who she was if she wore color AND an updo? You have the coolest parties. They seem like so much fun! Oh, and I would have totally arrived bedecked in a ballgown for the occasion.

    1. Thanks, lady! I wish you could have been there in that ballroom! I love a good theme party!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Your food ideas are always so fun for your Oscar party. I love it!

    I'm on the Amy and Tina should host everything bandwagon. Seth is pretty much a bad host idea unless it's some award show for Spike Tv.