Friday, October 17, 2008

They could care less as long as someone will bleed.

A few weeks ago you all decided I should read Twilight. So, Jamie of the fabulous blog Oh! How Lovely! joined me in my task and we had a little post-Twilight book club meeting last night to discuss our feelings on the the Stephenie Meyer novel about a teenage girl named Bella who (clumsily) falls in love with a boy named Edward - who happens to be a vampire.

[I know it's a little long, but I figure there's enough Twilight fans who read this who'd be interested in following along. If you don't care about Twilight, just read the last part with the picture. Ha!]

Jessica: you've effin' finished the SECOND book?!
Jamie: its ridiculous. i went to target saturday night and picked up the second and third
Jamie: and now have finished both
Jessica: well, let's talk about the FIRST one hahaha
Jamie: hahah i know right, jumping ahead of myself here!
Jessica: okay, so a of all, if i was fifteen this would be a tome for me
Jessica: as a military kid who went to three high schools and was always the new kid
Jessica: but i would have turned into a sulky kid, without an edward... so it's good i didn't read it in highschool
Jamie: seriously, high school girls are dying right now because there is no edward in their lives
Jamie: no one to dazzle them!
Jessica: oh gawd
Jessica: some her words though - like "dazzle"
Jessica: made me scrunch up my face
Jamie: really! i was like who says that!?
Jessica: there were a lot of really funny lines that made me laugh
Jessica: oh man! there was one that was SO hilarious, but i forgot to mark it
Jessica: it was like, "if he left i would only be left with a perilous anguish and depression" - cheese
Jamie: i know! it was so dramatic at times
Jessica: okay, also, nobody in the entire story ever smiled
Jessica: is the word "smile" in the book?
Jessica: all i picture are intense stares
Jamie: agreed. everyone was so serious
Jessica: she's always disgruntled and edward is always just intense and silentish
Jessica: even the end when she's supposed to be yay! happy! i'm alive!
Jessica: she's all complaininz about makeup and a dress
Jamie: it was prom! that's what people do! how did she not know about it
Jamie: obviously lost in edward's dazzle-ing
Jessica: hahaha
Jamie: it made me laugh about the kid who showed up at her house thinking they were going to prom together though
Jessica: haha, that is true
Jessica: he was a little comic relief in all the "i'm gonna hunt you down and killz you" stuff
Jessica: and ps you can't be with me because you're gonna die and i will live forever
Jamie: and then OMGZ I'm old!
Jamie: you're like a year older, chill!
Jessica: that freakout was so stupid
Jessica: she's all sad on her birthday and angry on prom
Jessica: dude, your boyfs is hot and loves you eternally and you're all disappointed with life?
Jessica: ps you're alive, you almost died.
Jamie: okay this is kind of stupid but in the beginning when they were talking about how they dont hunt humans
Jamie: i was thinking well wtf how do they survive?!
Jamie: and i was well Carlisle is a doctor at a hospital and they have blood there! they totes steal blood for like infusions and stuff
Jessica: hahaha great guesswork! too bad they like 'em grizzlies and mountain lions
Jessica: okay okay okay important part: edward is fucking hot
Jamie: um YEAH he is!
Jessica: so after finishing the book i totally looked up the movie trailer and how they cast the movie...
Jamie: hahah i was going to bring this up !
Jessica: and that dude is kind of how i imagined him
Jessica: as in, that dude is fucking hot. oh hey! you fit!

Jessica: and then i saw him on perez today (i did NOT put those hearts on him) and his face is kinda lopsided
Jessica: or like, if you cover up one half of that pic he has a certain face and if you cover up the other he looks like another person
Jamie: i totally agree
Jamie: i was looking at these stills earlier and he looked so good and im trying to find the stupid post with them
Jamie: when does the movie come out? november?
Jessica: december 16th
Jessica: what? how did i answer that so fast?
Jessica: um, also, the trailers look really tied into the book, but still like a CW show
Jamie: i have yet to watch the trailers
Jessica: they're like scenes from the book come to life, looks pretty good
Jessica: teenage moment.
Jamie: YES
Jamie: the one at the piano
Jamie: swoooon
Jessica: must. calm. down.
Jamie: omg edward stop dazzling us!
Jessica: hahahaha
Jessica: great casting, though in terms of looks
Jamie: i think kristin stewart was a good choice for bella too
Jessica: yes, definitely good
Jessica: i'm still looking at that pic of edward on the piano
Jessica: fact: this book made me feel like a teenager
Jessica: which isn't a bad thing
Jamie: he's all like, look at me with my raybays. im all hot and shit
Jamie: and i say Yes, Edward. Yes you are
Jamie: hahahahahaha!
Jamie: i was so determined to hate these books
Jessica: me too!
Jamie: my sister was so disappointed when i told her i bought it and LIKED it
Jessica: i felt all teeny and wrapped in it BUT the writing was cheese
Jamie: definitely felt like a teenager
Jessica: i skipped over a lot of the exposition - like, i don't care about the effin' trees
Jessica: EDWARD!!!
Jamie: for real! she got a little too descriptive sometimes
Jessica: yeah, was not into that
Jessica: and bella wasn't all that awesome as a character, like i said, i would be totally mopey if i was reading this as a teen
Jessica: like, "hey she was all mopey and silent and stuff, but she got the hottest guy in school."
Jamie: and was STILL mopey
Jessica: YEAH!
Jamie: what a waste
Jessica: i just can't deal with people who can't be happy when they should be
Jessica: as if she's a real person...
Jessica: but, yes, i will give Twilight an enjoyable thumbs up
Jamie: hahah she is not a real person but edward...
Jamie: !!!

Our conversation then degenerates into looking at pictures of Edward Cullen (I know not the name of the actor who is playing him, and don't really care). Looking at stills from the movie, there's one of Edward in the sun, and in the book he's supposed to "glitter" (see what we mean about the word choice?!). So...I photoshopped what the picture should actually look like...

Jamie: like even in that picture of him in the sun that i sent you the post of
Jamie: he's suppose to GLITTER
Jamie: im really curious how they are going to do that
Jessica: SPARKLES!
Jessica: that would be hilarious if they just covered him in glue and then actual glitter for that scene
Jessica: like, "oh by glitter, i mean he turns into a disco ball."
Jamie: hahahahahaha
Jessica: oh man. i smell a photoshop opportunity here.
Jamie: that could be amazing

Jessica: vampires vom glitter, didn't everyone know that??
Jamie: well they obviously will now!
Jamie: im way too amused by this
Jessica: hahaha dude, i just spent the time MAKING that

In summary: if you are a girl who enjoys teenage moments, read Twilight because you'll get that #1 Crush feeling again, and the book is written pretty much like my diary probably was (poorly). Except...there were no near-death scenarios in my youth and unfortunately, no ridiculously hot bloodsucking vampires went to my school.


  1. Everyone is talking about Twilight.

    I refuse to read it. ;)

  2. i'm scared to read this and have it been given away before i read it...parker, is it safe...or spoiler?

  3. Best convo EVER. We are awesome.

  4. sounds like the female character sucks. and wasn't written "well" so I think i'll pass.

  5. amber - that was me a month ago! haha, if you can resist it, don't read it! it's a little soul-sucking.

    jiscilla - no real spoilers! read ahead!

    jamie - YES! YES WE ARE.

    sean - yeah, you wouldn't like bella. not sure if there's somebody besides a centuries-old vampire that would.

  6. Hah, when I look at that actor all I can think about is his character from the Harry Potter movie. You should get on that one next! Srsly, I was anti-HP for like six years, and now I've been converted! Or, please read His Dark Materials. AMAZING books.

  7. i think you just have to get past the kinda dumb parts (word choice, etc.)... it feels like they really are 16. like, her dad is involved in her life and she goes to school and spends a lot of time on homework and lives somewhere that is generally boring.... and not all gossip girl/90210 and totally not real.

    please tell me when you're halfway through book 4. haha, my biggest complaint of the whole series comes then. haha.

    overall, i was sucked into these books big time and probably read the entire series in like 60 hours total... aka 3 weekends of my life.

  8. heheh i read book one in two days, finished today...and yes Edward is just DAZZLING. I finally feel like a teenager again. I had so much fun reading. I bought book 2 and 3 today. May I also join this teeny bopper twilight book club?

  9. Damnit. Am I going to have to read these books now??? By the way, your kittens are super cute and I love their names.

  10. heyy! here's my url for my new blog!

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  12. Not all the female characters suck. Alice is awesome and funny and is my favorite character but she really doesn't have as much as a role in the first book. She's the only one who talks like a normal person, um well I mean vampire and is the only actually funny character.

    I think they casted well too. I could stare at Edward Sparkle Cullen all day.

  13. do you think it is worth reading?? im guessing yes. im not sure if i should give in to the trend.

  14. mich - oh, harry potter now? i dunno. i have another series sean is making me read. oof.

    katie b - oh man, i'm way past that. we emailed re: this.

    chele - of course you can join! anybody is welcome to!

    lyndsey - yes, yes you do. ;)

    katy said so - woo! new blog!

    ginny - i do see a glimmer of alice i enjoy - i mean, she was the only one that smiled! ;)

    liz - it's SO trendy right now, but it's good. i enjoyed it. for real. (and i can't believe i'm saying it!)

  15. so wait, are you going to finish the series? or leave it at one?

    your convo made me laugh. i am totally going to fax you a "team edward" shirt, because you know you swoon over him as much as i do!

    proud of you for making it through it!

  16. lindsay - i think i might finish it! i guess i just have to, now. ha. thanks for being one of the first to get me into it! :)