Dear Jessica,
Congrats, homegirl. I don't think I've been engaged before. Or married. I don't remember too far back. Pretty much two years is it. People just kind of remind me of things I did.
I should probably tell you right now that I'm not going to be at your wedding. You sent me something with a date and address and stuff, but I think I just lost it when Parker Posey and I were under a table in a diner making out. She said she needed me to be weirder or on crack or something. So I just chugged a lot of maple syrup and did that.
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the rules-your-soul soundtrack of The Replacements. Dude. How could you not rock out to those classics??? Maybe you shouldn't be playing poker while it's on tv. It's a movie you should really pay attention to. Honestly.
That's all the pre-marriage advice I have for you. Tell Jesse killer job, bro.
Regards,
Keanu
First off Point Break is one of my favorite movies of all time. Secondly your letters from Keanu to you are probably one of the funniest things ever. I can't wait for more...I think I was once within 10 feet of Keanu...But then he just vanished
ReplyDeletemeik - thanks!!!! you came into possible contact with keanu?! hahaha AMAZING!! point break is a def classic. johnny utah was his character's name - i still can't get over that.
ReplyDeleteThis is incredible.
ReplyDelete