I fall without my wings.

I tend to save links to interesting stories and e-mail them out to people to discuss based on its topic. Here are some articles I've been reading from the past few weeks...

HELP US CATCH A KILLER by Michelle McNamara (LA Magazine) -- this is the fascinating archiving of a serial killer from the late 70s/early 80s. He raped 50 people and killed 10 in California. He was known as the East Area Rapist then as the Original Night Stalker -- now he is known as The Golden State Killer. The author has been trying to catch the killer for years, because he IS catchable - they have his DNA and he is most likely still alive. I made the mistake of listening to the recordings of the killer's voice as he left a creepy message. VERY SCARY. I've always been interested in serial killer stories, and this one gave me chills.

WE FOUND OUR SON IN THE SUBWAY by Peter Mercurio (The New York Times) -- this may or may not have brought tears to my eyes as I read it at work. Embarassing when your eyes are all red as you head into a meeting... Great story, and I love how it plays out like an epilogue.

THE CRIME OF BLACKNESS: DOROTHY B. HUGHES'S FORGOTTEN NOIR by Christine Smallwood (The New Yorker) -- I read The Expendable Man earlier this year, and it's GREAT. It originally came out in 1963 and to read it now is astounding in light of that year; I urge you to read the book (it's under 300 pages) and then read this article. But if you read this article first you'll definitely want to pick up the book anyway. If you've already read the book... you are awesome.

THE GHOST WRITES BACK by Amy Boesky (The Kenyon Review) -- written by a woman who ghostwrites for Francine Pascals' Sweet Valley High series. I was in love with these books growing up, of course. A bit of a window into something that makes me nostalgiac.

IN WHICH WE REGRET DIVORCING BEN GIBBARD by Cathaleen Qiao Chen (This Recording) -- TR has the best essays and perspectives on pop culture. Whether it be reviews written by 'Dick Cheney' or insightful pieces on a single piece of music, I love that website. Here's something that made me laugh and wonder.

WHY 'OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL' IS A MAJOR STEP BACK FOR WITCHES AND WOMEN by Elizabeth Rappe (Film.com) -- perhaps this essay more than any other was the reason why the most recent James Franco movie I've seen was Spring Breakers and not Oz. I had higher hopes for Sam Raimi. At least, higher than Harmony Korine, right? Has anybody seen this and liked it?

Speaking of Spring Breakers, yes I reviewed it. It's definitely a movie I thought I would hate, but I ended up kind of liking it? It's not for everyone and can be interpreted several ways, but I enjoyed it. Read my review and let's discuss. Also, join Letterboxd, let's be friends, and let's discuss movies all the time! It's my favorite thing to debate! Anybody else seen Spring Breakers? Got yer dark tannin' oil? Spring break forever????



Photo by Arno Arno via Flickr

I choose to be happy.

Just so you know, and because I think Jesse would like everyone to know, he DID change his flight and he DID arrive earlier. But only by half an hour because the flight was delayed. I didn't even realize the surprise, which I think mildly disappointed him. It was still nice to see him walk in the door and then get in bed as he told me all about his time away and writing songs and Murakami (he's reading 1Q84). Talking in person is the best, isn't it? It's so beautifully easy. Pee Wee stretched out between us in bed (I think he really missed Jesse) and I fell asleep smiling.

Find light in the beautiful sea.

How does time work, really? Where does it go? It just flutters by and then it's 2013 and it's almost April of 2013 and what happened?

In related news, yes, it seems things have happened. The best thing about this is it just proves again how amazing Motion City Soundtrack fans are. There's always been so much love, and I'm personally grateful for their classy and cool fans. Hurrah! The last month has been a bit weird, but they are all family and supportive of each other no matter the issue at hand. Also, I totally got Christina (Tony's ladyfriend) into Bunheads in our conversations while they were overseas, so I hope Tony enjoys that with his newly found time!

Jesse returns tonight from Minneapolis, at least for a little while... I don't think he even changed his flight to try to surprise/scare me this time! He was out there playing a show and they worked on some new songs--always exciting.

In turn I spent my weekend with my wives. A few years ago, going out on a Friday night after work was no problem. These days I have to strategically plan. Friday is my favorite day of the week, but also the most exhausting. My friends wanted to go to a dance party in Brooklyn that happens only once a month, so I made sure to get in a good nap on Friday night after work because we were to meet up at 11pm. Yeah, I had to nap. Way things go when you have a 9-5 five days in a row. And it worked because I was able to stay out dancing til about four in the morning! I'm exclaiming all this because I seriously feel proud. Like, "yeah! Still got it!" ...I'm not very cool.

The funniest part of the night was that a girl came up to me on the dance floor - during a Rihanna jam, total Diamonds Interruptus - and yells near my ear: "My friend, he wants to talk to you. Is that okay?"

What?

Has there been some sort of regression in the dating scene in the years since I've been in a relationship and married? Did some girl really just come up to me on behalf of her dude friend? REALLY? Has that guy not approached someone since middle school? Does this have something to do with the popularity of online dating? Do guys not want to face rejection in real life only via an OKCupid message? These are not even all of the questions I had at that moment. ANYWAY, I was like, "Are you serious? I can't even see who you are pointing to, but I'm married anyways, so..." She smiled and danced off. Can somebody fill me in or give me some insight into this? Does this type of behavior normal? Is this how dudes are picking up ladies in darkly lit bars these days? In 2013?

The rest of my weekend was decidedly more relaxed and I enjoyed doing some top secret Maid of Honor crafting--something I rarely do--and then spending a morning with the bride-to-be and her mom!  The rest of the time I spent with errands or random activities. Sometimes I find myself walking down the street while Jesse's gone, kind of wandering. If you haven't noticed, I'm a pretty independent person, but when he's gone sometimes I feel aimless. I can always do whatever I want, but it's more fun when he's around and I have someone to come home to and who wants to see me and spend time with me and it's not like something I have to plan. He's there, I'm there and it's nice just to be together and have each other around. I'm being quite ineloquent but that's me trying to explain what happens sometimes when he's gone. Nothing makes you appreciate another person's mere presence when they have to leave for days at a time! And I am truly happy just to be sitting next to him on a couch doing absolutely nothing.

He lands in about an hour. I am excited.

Let me show you a few things.

Wow, another week has gone by! My excuse for not writing is simple (and obvious?) -- Jesse's return meant not wanting to come home from work and spend time on my computer when I could be spending time with him.

Plus, today he's off again. At least he'll be in the country; at least it's only for six days.

We spent much of our evenings cooking together! This is exciting for us. [I had a whole paragraph here that Blogger messed up, and since it's gone TWICE now, I care not to rewrite it!! Who cares? Who gives a hoot? Who's reading? It was about cooking.]

Our weekend looked like this...

Friday night: a triple date with two of the best couples ever... sometimes it may have felt like us ladies were on our own wavelength of conversation, but that's just how it is sometimes when you've been best friends for over 12 years. It's funny thinking back to when we all grew close our senior years of high school, how awkward and unknowing we were in retrospect! To now, with our three significant others, the six of us happily ensconced in the back room of a Brooklyn restaurant, sipping cocktails and talking about careers and home decor and routines. And one terrible story about a horse.

I feel so terribly lucky to have the friends I do.

Saturday: Jesse and I met up with Tyler (I affectionately call him "Ty Ty" most of the time) and Jiscilla for brunch... it was gently snowing as we waited for our table, but it was well worth the wait for the food and the continued catch-up. We parted ways and Jesse and I decided to watch the latest Netflix DVD recieved, Celeste and Jesse Forever. Here's my review; I wouldn't recommend it. (Did anybody see that and enjoy it? Please, let's chat, I need another perspective.) Jesse and I spent a lot of time playing backgammon over the weekend as part of Analog Time, and Adam joined us Saturday evening. And then Jess and I headed to a birthday re-do for our friend who just wanted to DANCE. And dance we did.

Sunday: I'm the co-Maid of Honor in one of my best friend's weddings this summer, so the other Maid and I (can we get new names for these roles?) got together for brunch and and afternoon of party planning! This is all I can write about this here since I know the bride may be reading. Afterwards, Jesse and I went to a surprise 'Bachelorette Party' for our new Seattle Seahawks-loving friend, Damian. Yes, he was resplendently dressed in a tiara with veil, bachelorette sash, and a shotglass on a necklace. The bar area of the apartment even provided risque straws of your average bachelorette variety. Damian and Lauren are getting married next month, and though they are new friends, it was a blast to hang/party with them, especially to bask in their excitement!

Then sleep, then work, then backgammon, Girls, Top of the Lake, then sleep, then 'goodbye and safe travels' this morning.

One month later.

What a wonderful weekend... I can hardly remember what I did before yesterday - my mind is circling. On Friday? Oh right, I went to see El Sportivo and The Blooz play in Brooklyn, and it was my favorite kind of show: relaxed and small and everybody smiling. On Saturday I had a brunch with the one I call The Writer who has Written a Book. We went over my thoughts and her thoughts and everything in between and this too had me smiling -- maybe that's why the waiter brought me a free mimosa with our bill? We set off then for the cinemas and saw Park Chan-Wook's Stoker with my friend Amber. It was beautiful, but the story left me bitter. Matthew Goode? Also beautiful.

Perhaps I was smiling so much because I knew what laid at the end of my weekend: Jesse's return. He'd sent me an itinerary that foretold his arrival at approximately 7pm at JFK. Yesterday, however, he seemed oddly out of contact during his supposed layover and like the boy who cried wolf, I expected him to walk in the door earlier. And he did! At around 5pm Pee Wee leapt off my lap on the couch and trotted towards the door (we were watching the terrific documentary How to Survive a Plague) and in wheeled his bags and he with his (much longer than before) beard. He's surprised me so many times (to my delight) that I now watch for signs.

My happiness must have been electric then because I even cooked dinner. I made steak, sweet potato wedges, and green beans. It was largely successful though I have to admit my journey to the final product was decidedly inelegant and full of CLANGS! and hasty curses. I've decided practice makes perfect so hopefully my clumsiness in the kitchen also improves. After dinner, Jesse doled out some gifts from his travels, and then we settled on the couch for this weekend's Saturday Night Live and Jesse dozed off. After moving him up to bed in the evening, he kept sleeping even as I left this morning. The man was tired after nearly 24 hours of airports and flights. And so, I am happy.

Marching up to your gates.

Here's a random playlist I made of some songs I've been listening to this week! It's Friday, let us rejoice. Tonight I'm going to see El Sportivo, also featured on the playlist.

01 "Need You Around" - Smoking Popes
02 "Reasons To Be Beautiful" - Hole
03 "Waves" - Electric Guest
04 "All My Alibis" - El Sportivo
05 "Functions" - Tiger Lou
06 "The Remainder" - Sleater-Kinney
07 "Gates" - The Menzingers
08 "I Couldn't Be Your Friend" - Tegan and Sara

Safe behind your teeth.

I meant to write about last weekend all week, and now the next weekend is upon me! In sum, I had a wonderful night on Friday celebrating my best friend Kelly's birthday, and then I headed to Massachusetts to spend the weekend with my dad. My dad and I are in similar situations right now: our spouses are oceans and continents away! So, naturally, we got together and watched movies, put together a puzzle, and ate ice cream cake. It's what we do. After a stressful work week, it was definitely a necessary and relaxing getaway for me. Thanks Dad! (And Buddy, pictured above!)

This week was also steeped in stress at work, but I've been trying to keep up with daily workouts and healthy eating. Like I'm an adult or something. My dad is going to be revolted by this, but I learned how to make really delicious brussel sprouts! Thanks to Kelly for showing me how easy it is. I think Instagram has made me despise non-professional photos of food, so I won't even post that here: DON'T WORRY.

Jesse's been quite busy across the world, and I'm so excited for him to come back next week. It's hard not being able to see and hear and touch someone for an entire month. I went to see Jack the Giant Slayer with my dad this past weekend and when the lead characters went in for a smooch I nearly sighed. And then I almost slapped myself. Get it together, Parker. Sad truth!

I decompressed from work most days this week with my commute reading. I finished Mary McCarthy's The Group, which apparently had quite a following in earlier generations of women. It still speaks to female friendships, and I liked it a lot. Then I read/edited a manuscript for a friend that wrote a novel that I cannot talk about at all until it's ready for publication, but it's awesome and I'm sorry I have to be vague and also for this terrible sentence. I just finished reading Sylvia Plath's collection of poems Ariel, and I think I re-read some of the poems three or four times before I was ready to put down the book. My favorite was "Lady Lazarus." I don't read much poetry, but I love Plath. Bleak but strong, melancholy but assertive -- I love her voice.

The rain's banging against the windows behind me, and I'm waiting for a call from Indonesia before I head to sleep.

I'll sign off with a few lines from Sylvia Plath's poem "You're"... I'm sure you can guess who I was thinking of while I read it:

Vague as fog and looked for like mail.
Farther off than Australia.
Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn.